...even if there is something else there, it's not you. It's something else.
You are Caiman. The guy who likes gyoza and baseball and doesn't want to kill anyone here because they're all friends. And even if someone else inside of you does things sometimes, that doesn't change who you are.
It's entirely possible to have one body with two souls in it. It happened to me, for a while. I got forced out of my own body and into someone else's for a few days. Any time I took control, it wasn't Emil doing something. It was me doing something using Emil's body.
If you had said it before, I could have defended you. I know enough about it to make a compelling argument and find a way to get the other 'thing' out of your body.
[What HE thinks is a compelling argument, at least.]
...but I don't blame you. For not wanting to tell.
...Never been asked that question. [ And he's never even thought about it. 'Cause, you know, he's always so happy and seemingly invulnerable to the miseries of the world. But he's not also about to reject Lalli on the spot here. ]
He just accepts it. God I wish I was at the canonpoint where I could share this mem just for this but know this happens in canon too and it's very sweet. ]
[Caiman is going to be executed in the morning and all they have is a slim hope that maybe there's a way to bring everyone back. Everything is definitely not fine.
But it's okay to say that now, right? He doesn't want Caiman to be scared.]
[ Honestly, with how executions go, it's likely he'll probably die tomorrow. Caiman's never really thought about death as much as he's faced it all the time -- hell, he went in without fear nor hesitation towards a Sorcerer with a hammer who literally cracked a hole in his skull with the end of it, not even letting go when the hammer claw buried itself in his neck.
He's not afraid of death. He's barely even considered it. And he doesn't want to die, either -- so there's little choice for him to face execution the way he's always done.
As himself, no thoughts, only to do what must be done.
But he does pat Lalli on the arm. ]
It'll be fine, yeah. Though I guess, maybe don't come to execution tomorrow just in case.
[ Oh... kitty. Caiman perks up just a tiny tad about this... nooo, cute. He just looks at her quietly and almost a little nervously, because he heard animals just kind of know things sometimes, but presuming Kissa won't be hissing at him -- he just quietly pets her. Well, sort of. He just holds his hand there, a half-motion, and lets Kissa do her thing.
And also this is kind of an awkward time but idk when would be opportune while I have easy access to the pages, so! This is when Lalli gets the hell toilet memshare.
No I'm kidding he gets to have a proper one though I can still tell you wtf is hell toilet later. He gets these:
Funny, that, since this is the second week of winter -- surely then, in some screwed up time way, New Years (at least in his calendar) must be here. A memory of a happier time, a happier way for the year to change, and still more, the promise of lasting friendship. ]
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...even if there is something else there, it's not you. It's something else.
You are Caiman. The guy who likes gyoza and baseball and doesn't want to kill anyone here because they're all friends. And even if someone else inside of you does things sometimes, that doesn't change who you are.
It's entirely possible to have one body with two souls in it. It happened to me, for a while. I got forced out of my own body and into someone else's for a few days. Any time I took control, it wasn't Emil doing something. It was me doing something using Emil's body.
It's the same for you, I think.
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But he does glance back up at Lalli, then down. Just fiddling with his fingers a little bit. ]
It's a shit answer to give to people who are angry or sad at a place like trial and it's clearly not going to work as a clearing thing.
[ ... ]
But...
...Thanks, Lalli.
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[What HE thinks is a compelling argument, at least.]
...but I don't blame you. For not wanting to tell.
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I never even knew it was a thing that could happen. To begin with.
[ He drops his gaze, once again. ]
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[Lalli drops his gaze too.]
...it's still alright. It's not your fault.
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Thanks, Lalli.
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[Lalli doesn't know either. Trusting Caiman just comes naturally to him, like it's how things should be.
...he's going to scoot a little closer now, before asking a question:]
I'm not good at this kind of thing, but would a hug help right now?
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...Never been asked that question. [ And he's never even thought about it. 'Cause, you know, he's always so happy and seemingly invulnerable to the miseries of the world. But he's not also about to reject Lalli on the spot here. ]
Sure.
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It's not a very strong one and it doesn't last long, he's really bad at the hugging thing. But he doesn't want Caiman to feel alone.]
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He just accepts it. God I wish I was at the canonpoint where I could share this mem just for this but know this happens in canon too and it's very sweet. ]
...Thanks.
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[Caiman is going to be executed in the morning and all they have is a slim hope that maybe there's a way to bring everyone back. Everything is definitely not fine.
But it's okay to say that now, right? He doesn't want Caiman to be scared.]
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He's not afraid of death. He's barely even considered it. And he doesn't want to die, either -- so there's little choice for him to face execution the way he's always done.
As himself, no thoughts, only to do what must be done.
But he does pat Lalli on the arm. ]
It'll be fine, yeah. Though I guess, maybe don't come to execution tomorrow just in case.
[ Sike everyone showed up. ]
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[Even after you die.
He doesn't have his powers so it's not like he can see anything, but old habits die hard.]
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[ Because after all, Caiman's not all about that shit like, 'this is for your own good' or whatever. Lalli can make his own decisions. ]
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Mmm.
Wait here, I'll be right back.
[He's not going far, because his goal is just outside the classroom door. A few moments later, he brings Kissa in and takes her over to Caiman.]
Cats have special healing properties, especially for the heart.
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And also this is kind of an awkward time but idk when would be opportune while I have easy access to the pages, so! This is when Lalli gets the hell toilet memshare.
No I'm kidding he gets to have a proper one though I can still tell you wtf is hell toilet later. He gets these:
1, 2, 3, 4, 5.
Funny, that, since this is the second week of winter -- surely then, in some screwed up time way, New Years (at least in his calendar) must be here. A memory of a happier time, a happier way for the year to change, and still more, the promise of lasting friendship. ]