PCs with Mandricardo

[silentscout]

MANDI SHITPOST LATER

Comments

[silentscout]

Well, he did.

[Implying that nobody else does. Or maybe not, Lalli isn't THAT mean.]

And if he saw something special, then there's something special there.

[duranduel]

[A huff. He shifts his head to snuggle against Kissa, a little.]

I think everyone...deserves to have someone think they're special, honestly.

[Best feeling in the world! If that person ISN'T DEAD.]

[silentscout]

...why are you saying this?

[Like if Mandi is missing Wang Lu and needs support that's one thing, but Lalli is suspicious of Mandi's motives here.

Partially because of Things and him hoping that he's not being obvious, he's very self-conscious about it.]

[duranduel]

...Huh? What do you mean, "why"?

[he is]

[genuinely confused]

[he has literally no ic idea about lalli and kon i am crying]

I-I'm sorry. I'm just...thinking about him. I shouldn't have brought it up.

[silentscout]

[Lalli being too self-conscious is so funny.]

No, it's fine. You miss him, right? So you should talk about him. People don't really 'die' until the living stop talking about them anyway.

[duranduel]

Yeah.

[There's a long pause.]

In my life, I messed up when it came to how I grieved. My father died, and I...lost myself. [A shake of the head.] Unlike that time, there's no battles to lose myself in. And I...want to grieve properly. I'm afraid I'll go insane if I don't.

[silentscout]

Just bury it deep in your heart and ignore it. It gets easier as time passes.

[Lalli no that's not healthy at all.

Though the way he's speaking with such authority on the subject of "loved ones dying" might be concerning.]

[duranduel]

[He's furrowing his eyebrows at that. Yeah, that is NOT healthy.]

I actually...think that might be worse, Lalli. It may seem like its easier, I think, but...it hurts worse when you dig it up.

[silentscout]

That's why you bury it deep and don't dig it up.

[duranduel]

Grief doesn't always stay buried. Like, something will always remind you at some point about that person, right?

[silentscout]

Is that what you're feeling now?

[duranduel]

[A nod.]

I just expect him to pop up with that dumb look on his face like. Pretending he's not dead. Even though I know he is.

[silentscout]

Maybe you can go pick him up from daycare.

[The one thing saving Lalli from a complete mental breakdown here: the fact that the dead might not actually be fully dead.]

[duranduel]

[....]

And what if we mess up and that doesn't happen?

[silentscout]

Then we die a little sooner than we would have before.

[It's hard not to regard death so lightly when you're from a death world.]

We all die. What's important is making your death matter.

[duranduel]

...

In a place like this, does our death even matter, Lalli?

[silentscout]

Yes.

[He says that immediately, and firmly.]

Our last moments define the legacy we leave behind for those who come after us. I don't know about you I'm not going to have my legacy end up being "he was a coward who accepted his death without accomplishing anything of note". If I have to die, I'm going to make it count.

[duranduel]

Ha. Haha.

[Oh, that's a deadpan laugh from Mandricardo - his eyes are dark.]

I died in a valiant duel against a man who I thought I could easily defeat. I was mighty, and ferocious, and fought with all my skills.

[...]

And then I died even after all of that, even after using all my strength, and it didn't mean a thing. My legacy was nothing. It's nothing. So "our last moments define the legacy we leave behind...?" What is that crap?

[silentscout]

It's not crap. That wasn't your last moment. You're HERE, aren't you?

[duranduel]

That was my last moment of my human life. And my human life was made worthless in an instant. I have no legacy.

I'm just nothing but a magical copy that's fated to disappear soon, anyways.

[silentscout]

You say that, but I never knew you as a human. I only know you as you are now. And all I'm going to remember- assuming I outlive you- is what you've done here.

[duranduel]

...

[Yeah, maybe there's a point, there.]

I'm just...tired of believing I'm disappointing people.

[silentscout]

You're not disappointing people. That's your brain lying to you to make you miserable. Has anyone even told you that you disappoint them?

[duranduel]

[...]

[...................]


[.......................................]

N...o?

[silentscout]

Then it's your brain trying to sabotage you. Stop listening to it when it tells you things like that.

[There is a sense of...not sympathy exactly, but understanding. It's fine, it's something he struggles with too.]