[ well, it's a good thing that kon has both of his arms for this? he's pretty sturdy in build, but having just one might cause even someone slender like lalli to take him out.
but he manages it with only a single breath punched out of him, and a few steps back to accommodate for the momentum. and then he's folding lalli into his arms, holding on tight to anchor that moment right there. keep the memory in place. ]
I don't know how long I've got - it's been coming and going all day, spotty, and just - [ bad! ] But I needed to find you while I had you.
[It's the fastest way to Kon and he knows Kon has both hands, it's fine.
He doesn't even move to step back or anything. He's holding right onto Kon and staying there with him, arms immediately going around his shoulders to hold on tight. Lalli's not much of a hugger, but this is definitely a hug.]
It's fine. You're here right now, so it's fine. And I can make it two days.
[ he has to make his rounds for the people he remembers, at least as best as he can. there's not a lot of time, and so many of his dormmates are fucked up, but - he remembers the way lalli reacted. and how those little clues didn't even fucking register.
being overwritten like that was awful, but this? this is terrifying to him when all of his focus and expertise is in the goddamn mind. ]
... doesn't change the fact that I forgot everything. [ also i should note that he's got blood on him but it's clearly not his, so sorry about that. ] And I'm going to again. But I wanted to make sure you at least heard it from me.
[This seems to be the sticking point for Lalli, but at least for now Kon may be able to remember why. The way he felt Tuuri die, the fact that he has no family remaining besides Onni, the way any good thing he ever gets his hands on is ripped away before he can fully appreciate it. His life is a refrain of loss, and it's cut him so deeply that he'll never fully recover from it.
But this is different. This is temporary. He can deal with losses that are temporary. Those don't cut as deeply, and they scar over much faster.]
Listen to me.
[He pulls back slightly now, but it's so he can reach into his pocket to get something.]
We're both going to go right into those dorms and sleep through the night. And tomorrow, we're going to find a body. Not mine, and not yours. We're going to find it and spend this miserable weekend solving a murder, because that's what the survivors do here.
[And then he's going to try and take Kon's hand so he can put a small wooden charm on a simple long cord into his palm. He's doing this while still looking Kon in the eyes, because he wants to make sure Kon understands how important this is.]
But while our hearts are going to hurt a lot, no physical harm is going to come to either of us. You hear me?
[ considering the fact kon gave him his own talking to on saturday, it's not as if he's going to not listen to him right now. so he looks back at him, a laser focus that he usually has at trials, during the town halls, when he's processing and committing something to memory.
and the thing is, memory is - important, to kon. he studies the blueprint of the mind, specializes in it and the development of thought, of knowledge, of memory. his goal was, for so long, to find a way to help heal or replace the parts of the brain that suffered from illness, stroke, injuries.
memory loss.
so being overwritten, on his field trip, was one thing. it still struck a personal nerve. but to lose memories... especially in a place like this, where things have changed for him.
it's not great. but lalli is being purposeful, serious, firm, and it reminds him of saturday, catching lalli before he could spiral and just succumb to defeat and wait for death.
so, he listens. and he takes the charm, not looking away from lalli but letting his touch trace out the mark that's been carved in. ]
I hear you. [ simple. because it doesn't have to be fancy - it wasn't on saturday, either. ] Come find me after the fire alarms finish. And then on Saturday, it'll be like it's supposed to be. I'll be mad as hell this whole time, but then I'll remember who I'm supposed to be angry with, and who I made a promise to already. We're getting out of here, Lal.
I'm not letting this place get away with what they've done. [ usually, kon brings out history, literature, folklore. but he'll seal it with his own words, instead - he'll tear this place apart. ]
[It's admittedly a little scary, seeing someone he cares about not remember who he even is. It reminds Lalli too much of conversations of the past, where dementia and carelessness led to a very personal tragedy. Another reminder of a time when Lalli just survived, only barely.
But this isn't then, he reminds himself. There's no kade here, and all of this is ultimately temporary. 'We're getting out of here, Lal.' He believes in those words, as much as he can believe in anything with his heart that's been glued back together far too many times in his life. He has to keep moving forward like this, if only to keep himself from letting the weight of everything crush him down again. Lalli's not a naturally hopeful person, but he can borrow some of Kon's hope for a bit.]
Mmm. We survive tonight, and tomorrow, and then fight back on Saturday.
[He's suddenly struck by an idea though, one that might help Kon with his present situation.]
Let's take some pictures, on your phone. That way if you forget again, you can look at them to be reminded of what's between us.
[ hope is - new, as a definition for it, or at least for him. kon is stubborn to his core, though, and after everything he's been through back home, in amatsuki, here, he's not about to stop. he's not dying in this place, and he refuses to leave anybody behind either.
so for as much as losing his memories with no backup, no guarantee, no escape, absolutely shakes him at his core... he's not stopping. so he'll make sure lalli knows it, too. that lalli won't give up and just accept his fate, either, and instead keep going.
but that does get his attention, and he reaches to pull out his phone. ]
I've been trying to reference the profiles and my notes, but I don't have as many pictures on my phone. That'd help. That'd help a lot.
[Lalli knew the notes would help, but more pictures are always good too. And as shy as Lalli sometimes gets about photos, he's going to be braver about them today. Kon needs this.
He steps back slightly, so that Kon can get his camera ready. But after listening to him speak, Lalli gets an idea.]
Selfies? And you can change the picture on your phone to be one of them when you turn it on, right?
[ that does give him pause, as lalli suggests it, and then he can't help but laugh a little - but it's warm, fond, and he fiddles with his phone a bit so that he can pull up the selfie cam. ]
I like it. [ he holds the phone up. ] It'll be an even better reminder, I think, and make it more important once it's all over with.
[ he's not shy about pictures - but kon has never really been the sentimental type. so there's something more warm, with this. ]
[It's really easy to slide up right next to Kon too. The height difference is just enough that he can tuck his head under Kon's chin while he tries to make sure they're both in the frame. The way his stomach churns prevents him from truly smiling, but the neutral-ish look on his face is pretty close to his usual smiles anyway. Such a serious person.]
I'll take one next, for my phone.
[Kon might want to grab two pictures though, because after the first shot Lalli is going to press a kiss to Kon's jawline.]
[ the height difference - and general size difference, really - between the two of them means that kon can envelop lalli as he puts his chin on his head and brings his arms around him so that he can hold the phone out. his own nerves about how the rest of the night, the next day, will go keep him from grinning like usual.
but he does luckily seem ready to snap more than one selfie, just in case he isn't steady, so lalli does manage to cause genuine but pleasant surprise to be caught on camera with the sneaky kiss thrown in. ]
[ cheek mushing against lalli's head for a moment after that, kon smiles at his phone and goes to save both pictures. it's while lalli is taking out his own phone and sufficiently distracted that he snaps another one, making that his phone background. dw about it. ]
Sure, promise. [ because he'll keep it for his memory, and for sentimentality that he's suddenly in possession of.
he behaves himself, at first, wrapping his arms around him in a way that makes it less obvious he's got both of them. his cheek comes down lower to lalli's, and this is more of a smile, this time.
lalli better be ready for another one, because he turns his head and presses a kiss to his cheek after the first. ]
Meanwhile, Lalli does snap a few of the two of them, and that last one hits the sweet spot of being during the kiss but before Lalli can fully react to it so he looks surprised and a bit pink in the face.]
I guess that's only fair, I got you too.
[It's definitely getting saved too. Pictures for him to stare at when he's feeling a little lonely and stuck in class.]
kon hums, pleased with himself, and it's something that helps to stop some of the nerves from his bouts of memory loss. small comforts. ]
Definitely only fair. And you're cute when you make faces like that. [ they're dating he's just going to go ahead and say these things at him. especially since he's not going to be able to remember him, at some point, and all throughout friday. ]
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2021-07-16 01:47 am (UTC)but he manages it with only a single breath punched out of him, and a few steps back to accommodate for the momentum. and then he's folding lalli into his arms, holding on tight to anchor that moment right there. keep the memory in place. ]
I don't know how long I've got - it's been coming and going all day, spotty, and just - [ bad! ] But I needed to find you while I had you.
no subject
Date: 2021-07-16 01:55 am (UTC)He doesn't even move to step back or anything. He's holding right onto Kon and staying there with him, arms immediately going around his shoulders to hold on tight. Lalli's not much of a hugger, but this is definitely a hug.]
It's fine. You're here right now, so it's fine. And I can make it two days.
no subject
Date: 2021-07-16 02:45 am (UTC)being overwritten like that was awful, but this? this is terrifying to him when all of his focus and expertise is in the goddamn mind. ]
... doesn't change the fact that I forgot everything. [ also i should note that he's got blood on him but it's clearly not his, so sorry about that. ] And I'm going to again. But I wanted to make sure you at least heard it from me.
no subject
Date: 2021-07-16 03:11 am (UTC)[This seems to be the sticking point for Lalli, but at least for now Kon may be able to remember why. The way he felt Tuuri die, the fact that he has no family remaining besides Onni, the way any good thing he ever gets his hands on is ripped away before he can fully appreciate it. His life is a refrain of loss, and it's cut him so deeply that he'll never fully recover from it.
But this is different. This is temporary. He can deal with losses that are temporary. Those don't cut as deeply, and they scar over much faster.]
Listen to me.
[He pulls back slightly now, but it's so he can reach into his pocket to get something.]
We're both going to go right into those dorms and sleep through the night. And tomorrow, we're going to find a body. Not mine, and not yours. We're going to find it and spend this miserable weekend solving a murder, because that's what the survivors do here.
[And then he's going to try and take Kon's hand so he can put a small wooden charm on a simple long cord into his palm. He's doing this while still looking Kon in the eyes, because he wants to make sure Kon understands how important this is.]
But while our hearts are going to hurt a lot, no physical harm is going to come to either of us. You hear me?
no subject
Date: 2021-07-16 04:24 am (UTC)and the thing is, memory is - important, to kon. he studies the blueprint of the mind, specializes in it and the development of thought, of knowledge, of memory. his goal was, for so long, to find a way to help heal or replace the parts of the brain that suffered from illness, stroke, injuries.
memory loss.
so being overwritten, on his field trip, was one thing. it still struck a personal nerve. but to lose memories... especially in a place like this, where things have changed for him.
it's not great. but lalli is being purposeful, serious, firm, and it reminds him of saturday, catching lalli before he could spiral and just succumb to defeat and wait for death.
so, he listens. and he takes the charm, not looking away from lalli but letting his touch trace out the mark that's been carved in. ]
I hear you. [ simple. because it doesn't have to be fancy - it wasn't on saturday, either. ] Come find me after the fire alarms finish. And then on Saturday, it'll be like it's supposed to be. I'll be mad as hell this whole time, but then I'll remember who I'm supposed to be angry with, and who I made a promise to already. We're getting out of here, Lal.
I'm not letting this place get away with what they've done. [ usually, kon brings out history, literature, folklore. but he'll seal it with his own words, instead - he'll tear this place apart. ]
no subject
Date: 2021-07-16 04:44 am (UTC)But this isn't then, he reminds himself. There's no kade here, and all of this is ultimately temporary. 'We're getting out of here, Lal.' He believes in those words, as much as he can believe in anything with his heart that's been glued back together far too many times in his life. He has to keep moving forward like this, if only to keep himself from letting the weight of everything crush him down again. Lalli's not a naturally hopeful person, but he can borrow some of Kon's hope for a bit.]
Mmm. We survive tonight, and tomorrow, and then fight back on Saturday.
[He's suddenly struck by an idea though, one that might help Kon with his present situation.]
Let's take some pictures, on your phone. That way if you forget again, you can look at them to be reminded of what's between us.
no subject
Date: 2021-07-20 04:08 pm (UTC)so for as much as losing his memories with no backup, no guarantee, no escape, absolutely shakes him at his core... he's not stopping. so he'll make sure lalli knows it, too. that lalli won't give up and just accept his fate, either, and instead keep going.
but that does get his attention, and he reaches to pull out his phone. ]
I've been trying to reference the profiles and my notes, but I don't have as many pictures on my phone. That'd help. That'd help a lot.
no subject
Date: 2021-07-20 05:22 pm (UTC)He steps back slightly, so that Kon can get his camera ready. But after listening to him speak, Lalli gets an idea.]
Selfies? And you can change the picture on your phone to be one of them when you turn it on, right?
no subject
Date: 2021-07-21 12:06 am (UTC)I like it. [ he holds the phone up. ] It'll be an even better reminder, I think, and make it more important once it's all over with.
[ he's not shy about pictures - but kon has never really been the sentimental type. so there's something more warm, with this. ]
no subject
Date: 2021-07-21 12:47 am (UTC)I'll take one next, for my phone.
[Kon might want to grab two pictures though, because after the first shot Lalli is going to press a kiss to Kon's jawline.]
no subject
Date: 2021-07-21 04:30 am (UTC)but he does luckily seem ready to snap more than one selfie, just in case he isn't steady, so lalli does manage to cause genuine but pleasant surprise to be caught on camera with the sneaky kiss thrown in. ]
no subject
Date: 2021-07-21 05:03 am (UTC)As soon as that last picture is snapped though, Lalli immediately gets shy about it.]
That one is for you only.
[Given how private Lalli is about literally all forms of affection, that might not be too surprising of a demand.
He's getting out his phone now, to snap his own picture of the two of them. This one is a bit closer though, because his arms are shorter.]
no subject
Date: 2021-07-24 03:10 am (UTC)Sure, promise. [ because he'll keep it for his memory, and for sentimentality that he's suddenly in possession of.
he behaves himself, at first, wrapping his arms around him in a way that makes it less obvious he's got both of them. his cheek comes down lower to lalli's, and this is more of a smile, this time.
lalli better be ready for another one, because he turns his head and presses a kiss to his cheek after the first. ]
no subject
Date: 2021-07-24 03:19 am (UTC)Meanwhile, Lalli does snap a few of the two of them, and that last one hits the sweet spot of being during the kiss but before Lalli can fully react to it so he looks surprised and a bit pink in the face.]
I guess that's only fair, I got you too.
[It's definitely getting saved too. Pictures for him to stare at when he's feeling a little lonely and stuck in class.]
no subject
Date: 2021-07-25 05:55 am (UTC)kon hums, pleased with himself, and it's something that helps to stop some of the nerves from his bouts of memory loss. small comforts. ]
Definitely only fair. And you're cute when you make faces like that. [ they're dating he's just going to go ahead and say these things at him. especially since he's not going to be able to remember him, at some point, and all throughout friday. ]
no subject
Date: 2021-07-25 05:20 pm (UTC)You're just saying nonsense now.