[ because even without remembering her, it's been bad. looking at her, knowing her, understanding why she's a wreck, kon knows how bad it's going to get tomorrow. ]
I think she probably anticipated something like this happening, but the fact she was the one that found her... [ mm ] Hopefully we can ground her so that she's not a livewire.
["She's practically my sister" are exactly the words Lalli was expecting to hear, and it's making his anxiety spike.]
I- she's going to snap. I know she is.
[He'll just keep holding onto that hand. The jittering worries him and he wishes they could just wander off and not think about trials for the rest of the day, but. They can't. Because anxious thoughts make Lalli unable to focus on other things.]
If- if a bad fight happened, and you had to pick a side. What would you do?
[ a few more steps, and he comes to a stop, rolling his shoulder and rotating his wrist to loosen the strap sling, freeing up his right arm. around his wrist, wrapped a few times for the chord, is the charm lalli had pressed into his hands - and it's stayed there this whole time.
but he steps around to stand in front of lalli, fingers ghost-light on his face. ]
Hey. [ steady, steady. focus here. ] Hey, if a bad fight happens again, there's so many people here that would move to stop it. No one has to pick a side - it's human nature to, but it's us against this place, so we shouldn't be. So I'm going to try and protect Beau, help her, but I'm not going to let her grieve with violence if I can stop it.
[ his thumb brushes along the angle of his cheek, and kon - searches his face. ]
[He had hoped Kon would keep it, but seeing that charm wrapped so carefully around his arm, that makes Lalli's heart flutter.
Of course, that moment of happiness comes crashing down just moments later. He's not pulling away or moving away from the touch, but he glances to the side, unable to meet Kon's gaze. The answer he gives is a mumble, barely audible, but still there.]
It's going to be a bad fight. Not because of only her, she's just the loudest one, but-
[His negativity and pessimism are flaring up here, it might not be as bad as he's imagining. But given the powder keg of emotions that happens on a regular basis, and the fact that two people important to Winter dorm died...yeah. His fears aren't completely unfounded.
He just shakes his head.]
I- I get it. Whatever happens, I'll understand. But I-
[And he cuts himself off there, because he really can't say anything more.]
[ god, he hates this. there are so few things he's thankful for, in this godforsaken shithole of a school. beau and lalli are some of those things, and kon watches the way that he reacts, tracking his movement and expression, lowering his hand a little bit to let him turn away. but he's not letting go of the other one as he processes those words.
no, lalli's fears aren't completely unfounded. ]
... it's going to be a lot. [ it doesn't need to be more than that. still, he doesn't ask lalli to look at him - that would be unfair - and instead waits, staying there with him, the jittering gone now as his thoughts churn. ] No matter who killed Otome, who killed Leo, it's been weeks of us being battered. And tensions are going to be high. They'll come to a boiling point before long.
[ gently, he squeezes his hand. ]
Hey, Lal, babe. [ a step closer, and his forehead taps into lalli's temple where he's looking away. ] Whatever happens, I'll understand, too. You don't have to try and tell me, if you don't think you can. That's okay. But just don't let go of my hand. Don't forget we both made promises. I won't.
[The quiet words and gentle touches, they do help soothe Lalli some. His anxiety is still churning, but it's not spiking anymore at least. The quiet whispers of "you're going to lose everything" are retreating to the back of his mind.
With a stuttering sigh, Lalli closes his eyes and presses back against Kon's forehead. Even if he still has his doubts, he wants to believe. So maybe he can let himself believe that everything will be okay. A few hours of hope will be fine, right?]
I won't forget. I never forget anything important. I'm not going anywhere, not until I'm told to leave.
[He's not going to force Kon to do anything either. But his irrational fears keep telling him that Kon- and several other people too, if he's being honest- is going to hate him by the end of all of this. And it's hard to force those fears away when they've been right in the past.]
You know I- um. You know. The feelings.
[Lalli just say 'I love you' you nerd. It's important right now.]
[ with the way that lalli is reacting, how he's acted from the start, kon has - his own anxiety is spiking, and his thoughts racing, because he has a feeling he knows what this means. all their theories, all the evidence, all of lalli's worry and who he's close to that has the overlap...
oh, oh this is going to be so bad. he needs to get people ready for how tomorrow is going to go.
but right now, he brings his free hand up again, gently holding lalli's jaw with his fingertips as he presses a kiss to his cheek. lingers there like that, eyes closed. whatever happens - ]
I'm not going to tell you to leave, so, good.
[ and - that makes him smile, despite everything. because part of the reason why kon started to like lalli so much is the fact that he's always trying, even in things that he's not used to. ]
[At least they can agree on that much, even if his anxiety is still telling him to run now and protect himself from whatever might happen tomorrow.
But with the 'me too', Lalli finally feels confident enough to turn his head back towards Kon enough to blindly fumble for a kiss. This is reassuring to him too, it's fine.]
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2021-07-17 03:47 am (UTC)[ because even without remembering her, it's been bad. looking at her, knowing her, understanding why she's a wreck, kon knows how bad it's going to get tomorrow. ]
I think she probably anticipated something like this happening, but the fact she was the one that found her... [ mm ] Hopefully we can ground her so that she's not a livewire.
no subject
Date: 2021-07-17 03:59 am (UTC)[Just. Putting that out there.
And he's squeezing Kon's hand there too.]
It's going to be bad tomorrow. I'm worried.
no subject
Date: 2021-07-17 04:15 am (UTC)... it depends. On who it is, and why, I think. Who did it. She'll stop, before someone dies. [ ... ] But the issue is that she'll start.
[ god, kon feels all of the energy buzzing in him, and winds up squeezing back. lalli can probably feel the way he's almost jittering in his skin. ]
I'm worried too, Lal. She's practically my sister - and she's been through so much shit here, I think she's only hanging on by a thread right now.
no subject
Date: 2021-07-17 04:22 am (UTC)I- she's going to snap. I know she is.
[He'll just keep holding onto that hand. The jittering worries him and he wishes they could just wander off and not think about trials for the rest of the day, but. They can't. Because anxious thoughts make Lalli unable to focus on other things.]
If- if a bad fight happened, and you had to pick a side. What would you do?
no subject
Date: 2021-07-17 04:28 am (UTC)but he steps around to stand in front of lalli, fingers ghost-light on his face. ]
Hey. [ steady, steady. focus here. ] Hey, if a bad fight happens again, there's so many people here that would move to stop it. No one has to pick a side - it's human nature to, but it's us against this place, so we shouldn't be. So I'm going to try and protect Beau, help her, but I'm not going to let her grieve with violence if I can stop it.
[ his thumb brushes along the angle of his cheek, and kon - searches his face. ]
Do you know something?
no subject
Date: 2021-07-17 04:38 am (UTC)Of course, that moment of happiness comes crashing down just moments later. He's not pulling away or moving away from the touch, but he glances to the side, unable to meet Kon's gaze. The answer he gives is a mumble, barely audible, but still there.]
It's going to be a bad fight. Not because of only her, she's just the loudest one, but-
[His negativity and pessimism are flaring up here, it might not be as bad as he's imagining. But given the powder keg of emotions that happens on a regular basis, and the fact that two people important to Winter dorm died...yeah. His fears aren't completely unfounded.
He just shakes his head.]
I- I get it. Whatever happens, I'll understand. But I-
[And he cuts himself off there, because he really can't say anything more.]
no subject
Date: 2021-07-17 04:49 am (UTC)no, lalli's fears aren't completely unfounded. ]
... it's going to be a lot. [ it doesn't need to be more than that. still, he doesn't ask lalli to look at him - that would be unfair - and instead waits, staying there with him, the jittering gone now as his thoughts churn. ] No matter who killed Otome, who killed Leo, it's been weeks of us being battered. And tensions are going to be high. They'll come to a boiling point before long.
[ gently, he squeezes his hand. ]
Hey, Lal, babe. [ a step closer, and his forehead taps into lalli's temple where he's looking away. ] Whatever happens, I'll understand, too. You don't have to try and tell me, if you don't think you can. That's okay. But just don't let go of my hand. Don't forget we both made promises. I won't.
no subject
Date: 2021-07-17 05:03 am (UTC)With a stuttering sigh, Lalli closes his eyes and presses back against Kon's forehead. Even if he still has his doubts, he wants to believe. So maybe he can let himself believe that everything will be okay. A few hours of hope will be fine, right?]
I won't forget. I never forget anything important. I'm not going anywhere, not until I'm told to leave.
[He's not going to force Kon to do anything either. But his irrational fears keep telling him that Kon- and several other people too, if he's being honest- is going to hate him by the end of all of this. And it's hard to force those fears away when they've been right in the past.]
You know I- um. You know. The feelings.
[Lalli just say 'I love you' you nerd. It's important right now.]
no subject
Date: 2021-07-17 03:59 pm (UTC)oh, oh this is going to be so bad. he needs to get people ready for how tomorrow is going to go.
but right now, he brings his free hand up again, gently holding lalli's jaw with his fingertips as he presses a kiss to his cheek. lingers there like that, eyes closed. whatever happens - ]
I'm not going to tell you to leave, so, good.
[ and - that makes him smile, despite everything. because part of the reason why kon started to like lalli so much is the fact that he's always trying, even in things that he's not used to. ]
Yeah, I know. Me too.
no subject
Date: 2021-07-17 04:49 pm (UTC)[At least they can agree on that much, even if his anxiety is still telling him to run now and protect himself from whatever might happen tomorrow.
But with the 'me too', Lalli finally feels confident enough to turn his head back towards Kon enough to blindly fumble for a kiss. This is reassuring to him too, it's fine.]