right now, kon will hold onto him and take a long moment to stabilize himself. his thoughts are a lot of stressed, tired, vaguely PTSD-ridden scribbles at the moment, overlapping and not really forming one coherent thing. which is fine, he's suppressing some of the thoughts at the moment.
lalli was around for futaba brainblasting everyone with taichi dying, anyways. and lalli's not stupid.
it's not furry week anymore, but he nuzzles in, staying like that. (pay no mind to the way that his breath shudders for a second.) ]
[He was absolutely around for that, and he remembers the horrors of his own CYOA well, so he can put 2 and 2 together to make 4. I died, didn't I? He doesn't mean for Kon to hear that thought, but it sneaks out as he realizes why Kon is like this. He probably would be for anyone he's close to dying like Taichi did, but Lalli feels a bit of guilt over his own image being used to haunt Kon.]
I'm right here. If you listen closely, you can hear my heartbeat. That's proof that I'm right here.
[Kon might not be able to hear it against Lalli's shoulder like that, but after a few moments Lalli will tug at Kon's arm to try and pull his hand down towards his chest. Feel his heartbeat that way, Kon.]
[ no thought or verbal confirmation comes with that, but kon does squeeze his arms tighter for a moment. it might as well scream yes, and he forcibly doesn't think about it - he doesn't want to subject lalli to that. they all hated watching it, unable to do anything, and it's probably going to haunt his sleepless nights for the rest of the weekend and the oncoming final week.
but he does let lalli tug, and loosens his arms so that he can fit his hand against his sternum, shifting to find the exact spot he can feel it best.
and then he takes a deep, sharp breath. (hold, steady, two, three - ) it comes out in a rushed exhale, a little steadier now. ]
[A little steadier is getting there, and Lalli tries his best to help Kon along by remembering how much Kon reassures him. He thinks about how he feels so safe when he's with Kon, in hopes that the feeling of being safe will leak through and help Kon feel safe too. The thoughts of "I'm right here" match the tempo of his heartbeat, which beats strongly in his chest and goes right to Kon's fingertips.
He's right here. He's not going anywhere.]
Want to lay down?
[They can hug still, he just doesn't want Kon to get too tired while standing up.]
[ better. things are better. kon is standing on the brink of a panic attack, and no matter how tightly he has that on lock it's sort of obvious. honestly, he's probably been on the brink of a panic attack since he was on the field trip, but the shock and adrenaline cocktail that he had mixed up kept him from spiraling off the edge. the PTSD is real, right now.
but he's logical. no matter what, he's logical by nature. so he keeps his hand there on lalli's chest, keeps breathing, keeps himself grounded in lalli's voice and the sound of his dormmates outside.
and then he nods. ]
No one will come in. Winter has a system in place for this suite - it's set to do not disturb right now.
[Valuable knowledge that would have been better-suited for Horny Wednesday-
Lalli just nods, figuring that this is how Winter dorm has their private moments of freaking out. It's a good system, he thinks.
For now he'll guide Kon over to the bed, helping him get in. He's not sure how much Kon is still injured- some of those injuries are visible, but with how much blood Kon had lost Lalli is sure there's more- but he doesn't want Kon to get hurt getting into bed. It's only once Kon is laying down that Lalli will go around to the other side, kick off his boots, and then crawl into bed next to Kon.]
[ listen, falls still technically aren't allowed in the dorm right now? and also, kon is not letting them give him shit for this.
this works, though. he'll let himself be guided, and aided, because he does move like he has something weighing down on him. there's a pinch between his brows at one point, while lalli is working on getting his boots off - but he tries to push the sensation aside. there's nothing crushing him, it's not real, it's -
he blinks when lalli crawls in, seeming to come back. he looks so tired. ]
[Falls aren't allowed in, and yet Lalli has snuck in. Time to put more orbeez in the bathroom.
He's not sure how much he can lay on Kon right now, so he settles for laying on his side next to Kon, facing him. Not directly touching, but within range if Kon wanted to grab his hand or pull him closer. He's letting Kon be in control of that though.]
Mmm. I'll stay as long as I can.
[He wishes he could stay all night, but curfew.]
...I brought a book. To read to you, if you wanted.
[ he's already taken a shower and no one else is grievously injured, feel free to prank them again for the night.
laying on his back isn't very comfortable, considering the massive wound that's scarred over there, so he settles on his side facing lalli in return. and he tries, very tiredly, to - honestly, be okay. but it's hard to be.
he reaches out, cupping lalli's cheek and looking at him like that. ]
[It's okay to not be okay. Lalli's mantra this whole time has been 'help Kon turn off his brain for a while,' and that means turning off the dark, PTSD-filled thoughts too. It won't make him better, but it will make sleep come easier tonight.
But before he does that, he's going to pull off his cloak and shift it over to Kon.]
...familiar smells help make sleep come easier, so hold onto this until tomorrow.
[Yes, he's absolutely saying that since he can't be there all night, Kon should hold onto his smell anyway. It's about as sappy as he can get though, so.]
[ at least sleep is mandatory on thursdays. otherwise, kon probably wouldn't be getting any sleep, will probably spend the entire time up to midnight awake and on edge. but this - this will help. he takes the cloak, smiling a little more now. a security blanket.
he's not upset about it, and instead brings it forward and to his chest. lalli's so much smaller than him that it won't fit quite right in any manner of speaking, but it'll still help. ]
[Honestly, he's not wrong! It is absolutely a security blanket right now. And Lalli doesn't mind lending it out for serious moment like this. He just wants to wrap Kon up and make him feel safe and content, but this is the best he can do for now. A little more secure.
With a pleased nod, Lalli moves to the book he brought. It's a book of fairy tales! The traditional bedtime story. And if Kon lets him, Lalli will read from it (steady but a bit stilted in pronunciation and fluency, he's still not the best reader) until either Kon falls asleep or Lalli is kicked out by curfew.]
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2021-07-23 03:12 am (UTC)right now, kon will hold onto him and take a long moment to stabilize himself. his thoughts are a lot of stressed, tired, vaguely PTSD-ridden scribbles at the moment, overlapping and not really forming one coherent thing. which is fine, he's suppressing some of the thoughts at the moment.
lalli was around for futaba brainblasting everyone with taichi dying, anyways. and lalli's not stupid.
it's not furry week anymore, but he nuzzles in, staying like that. (pay no mind to the way that his breath shudders for a second.) ]
no subject
Date: 2021-07-23 03:30 am (UTC)I'm right here. If you listen closely, you can hear my heartbeat. That's proof that I'm right here.
[Kon might not be able to hear it against Lalli's shoulder like that, but after a few moments Lalli will tug at Kon's arm to try and pull his hand down towards his chest. Feel his heartbeat that way, Kon.]
no subject
Date: 2021-07-23 03:48 am (UTC)but he does let lalli tug, and loosens his arms so that he can fit his hand against his sternum, shifting to find the exact spot he can feel it best.
and then he takes a deep, sharp breath. (hold, steady, two, three - ) it comes out in a rushed exhale, a little steadier now. ]
no subject
Date: 2021-07-23 03:58 am (UTC)He's right here. He's not going anywhere.]
Want to lay down?
[They can hug still, he just doesn't want Kon to get too tired while standing up.]
no subject
Date: 2021-07-23 04:20 am (UTC)but he's logical. no matter what, he's logical by nature. so he keeps his hand there on lalli's chest, keeps breathing, keeps himself grounded in lalli's voice and the sound of his dormmates outside.
and then he nods. ]
No one will come in. Winter has a system in place for this suite - it's set to do not disturb right now.
no subject
Date: 2021-07-23 04:30 am (UTC)Lalli just nods, figuring that this is how Winter dorm has their private moments of freaking out. It's a good system, he thinks.
For now he'll guide Kon over to the bed, helping him get in. He's not sure how much Kon is still injured- some of those injuries are visible, but with how much blood Kon had lost Lalli is sure there's more- but he doesn't want Kon to get hurt getting into bed. It's only once Kon is laying down that Lalli will go around to the other side, kick off his boots, and then crawl into bed next to Kon.]
Better?
no subject
Date: 2021-07-23 04:35 am (UTC)this works, though. he'll let himself be guided, and aided, because he does move like he has something weighing down on him. there's a pinch between his brows at one point, while lalli is working on getting his boots off - but he tries to push the sensation aside. there's nothing crushing him, it's not real, it's -
he blinks when lalli crawls in, seeming to come back. he looks so tired. ]
Better.
no subject
Date: 2021-07-23 04:41 am (UTC)He's not sure how much he can lay on Kon right now, so he settles for laying on his side next to Kon, facing him. Not directly touching, but within range if Kon wanted to grab his hand or pull him closer. He's letting Kon be in control of that though.]
Mmm. I'll stay as long as I can.
[He wishes he could stay all night, but curfew.]
...I brought a book. To read to you, if you wanted.
no subject
Date: 2021-07-23 04:59 am (UTC)laying on his back isn't very comfortable, considering the massive wound that's scarred over there, so he settles on his side facing lalli in return. and he tries, very tiredly, to - honestly, be okay. but it's hard to be.
he reaches out, cupping lalli's cheek and looking at him like that. ]
I'd love that right now.
no subject
Date: 2021-07-23 05:10 am (UTC)But before he does that, he's going to pull off his cloak and shift it over to Kon.]
...familiar smells help make sleep come easier, so hold onto this until tomorrow.
[Yes, he's absolutely saying that since he can't be there all night, Kon should hold onto his smell anyway. It's about as sappy as he can get though, so.]
no subject
Date: 2021-07-25 05:49 am (UTC)he's not upset about it, and instead brings it forward and to his chest. lalli's so much smaller than him that it won't fit quite right in any manner of speaking, but it'll still help. ]
Alright. I will.
no subject
Date: 2021-07-25 05:01 pm (UTC)With a pleased nod, Lalli moves to the book he brought. It's a book of fairy tales! The traditional bedtime story. And if Kon lets him, Lalli will read from it (steady but a bit stilted in pronunciation and fluency, he's still not the best reader) until either Kon falls asleep or Lalli is kicked out by curfew.]