[For years now Lalli has always just drifted along, doing whatever his cousins roped him into doing. Or whatever he was ordered to do by a leader. Or, more recently, whatever the exploration team wanted to do. Trauma, a lack of social skills, and an easily-triggered sense of decision fatigue has meant that it's been so much easier to just do what other people tell him to do. Go here, investigate that, report back on what you find. He buries himself in his work and leaves the details for others to figure out.
But it's not enough anymore. He had shades of it before coming to Wiwaldi- his choice to go looking for Onni rather than staying with Emil and going to Sweden being the biggest one- but it's even truer now that he's had two months on his own to figure out how to cooperate with strangers and stay alive. Lalli has opened up and started to actually make decisions for himself, rather than just going with what others tell him to do. It's not all the time, but it's often enough to be a marked difference from who he was a year ago.
That's why, even though the thought of these big changes is a little scary, he's sure it's the right choice. It's right because he's the one choosing it, and he's the one thinking of what he needs to do rather than just relying on others to take care of him.
Lalli hasn't even touched his plate yet, and he seems to be forgetting it in the moment anyway. He reaches up to cover Kon's hand with his own, hugging it against his face gently. Lalli's eyes are lighting up with determination in a way they don't usually do, not with how his depression often weighs him down and blots out many of his more passionate emotions, but it's a look Kon might be seeing more often. Because once Lalli decides to do something, he does it. There's no swaying him.]
Alright. We'll make it work.
['We'll make it work' isn't a marriage proposal by any means, they've only been dating for a couple weeks and any feelings Lalli has are only in the very early stages of liking someone. But Kon will, at the very least, definitely have a tagalong now and for many years to come.]
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2021-08-01 06:52 am (UTC)But it's not enough anymore. He had shades of it before coming to Wiwaldi- his choice to go looking for Onni rather than staying with Emil and going to Sweden being the biggest one- but it's even truer now that he's had two months on his own to figure out how to cooperate with strangers and stay alive. Lalli has opened up and started to actually make decisions for himself, rather than just going with what others tell him to do. It's not all the time, but it's often enough to be a marked difference from who he was a year ago.
That's why, even though the thought of these big changes is a little scary, he's sure it's the right choice. It's right because he's the one choosing it, and he's the one thinking of what he needs to do rather than just relying on others to take care of him.
Lalli hasn't even touched his plate yet, and he seems to be forgetting it in the moment anyway. He reaches up to cover Kon's hand with his own, hugging it against his face gently. Lalli's eyes are lighting up with determination in a way they don't usually do, not with how his depression often weighs him down and blots out many of his more passionate emotions, but it's a look Kon might be seeing more often. Because once Lalli decides to do something, he does it. There's no swaying him.]
Alright. We'll make it work.
['We'll make it work' isn't a marriage proposal by any means, they've only been dating for a couple weeks and any feelings Lalli has are only in the very early stages of liking someone. But Kon will, at the very least, definitely have a tagalong now and for many years to come.]