[Oh. That's a lot to process at once. The hands are warm on his face and it's two hands when Kon is only supposed to have one and they're so close and Kon sounds so sure of himself and it feels like his heart is going to beat right out of his chest-
It's a lot, all at once. But it's enough to drag him right out of that spiral before he even has the chance to give up.]
...alright.
[He reaches up with his hands, placing them gently on Kon's forearms.]
I'll stay with you.
[His heart wouldn't let him even consider any other possibility.]
[ after watching adora go down like that, after seeing catra spiral throughout the entire end of trial, after mandricardo's breakdown and losing wang lu like that... beau's immediate reaction to the consequences of otome's truth...
the idea of losing anyone else is terrifying. but -
so that's it. we're all going to die here.
lalli lives in a world where death is a byproduct. it simply - is. how fucking unfair, what miserable unkindness, to put him through something where he's not even allowed to believe in survival. where they all have to watch people they've grown to know and care about die, for stupid, pointless reasons, all by their own hands. ]
Alright. [ some - relief settles in, and a little tension leaves his shoulders. he's still angry, and in pain, but.
he taps their foreheads together. ] Alright. I'm going to figure this out, okay Lal? I'm going to help get us out of here.
[Does he believe that Kon can do it? He's not so sure. Hope is something he's never really allowed himself to have in large quantities before. With how quickly everything good in his life always gets ripped away, hope is a dangerous thing to have. It leaves him vulnerable and exposed, waiting for someone to step all over it.
But he does believe Kon will try. That even through the anger and pain he feels now, he'll find some strength to carry on and try. He might fail, and it would totally be in line with all of Lalli's previous experiences for Kon to try and fail. But even if they do fail here and they all die, following this man all the way to the end wouldn't be so bad.
If it's his last days, then he would like to make them count.
That's what Grandma did. That's what Tuuri did. That's what Onni has been trying to do. Lalli might as well follow in the footsteps of his family in that regard.]
I believe you.
[It's so warm like this too. It's hard not to feel content in this moment.
And unfortunately I, Maple, have to make Lalli ruin the moment. Because Manwol told him that you show affection by biting people, so that's what he's going to do. He's going to wholeass shift where his hand is on Kon's arm so he can bite right below Kon's wrist. Not hard enough to draw blood or leave a mark, but there you go.]
[ i believe you is enough, for him. even if they do fail, even if he dies trying, that's enough for him. kon is so unused to working with other people - especially after losing everything, the last time that he did - that he's had to grow into it the past few weeks. he cares deeply for others, but tries not to let it show. especially not when he's been so detached in his pursuit for answers - his primary focus, his priority, has always been that; people have been secondary, but important regardless.
funny how living with a dorm of protagonists and stubborn, social assholes will change you.
funny how you come to care for so many people over the course of a few traumatic weeks and experiences.
funny how lalli's attempts to be a good person and friend really managed to crack through a few defenses.
the bite does surprise him a little? it obviously doesn't hurt so it's more just a simple surprise that lalli is doing something weird. but, also, like - lalli is doing something that is very fundamentally lalli-coded, so he doesn't even think that it's that out of place or that weird. he really should question the fact that he's immediately accepting this frankly cryptid feline behavior, but he sort of gets the intent of it. (he did bite lalli in the same place, back in the second week of fall.)
fondness bleeds out from underneath that angry grieving and staunch determination, and he rotates his wrist to take lalli's hand, pulling his sleeve down to return the bite. because sure, why not. ]
... hey, Lal, can I do something? Kinda like that but different.
[Maybe Kon needs reminders every now and then to hang onto his humanity and both love and be loved by the people around him. Winter dorm seems good for that, and everyone else too honestly. Though it's kind of funny that a human-shaped cat is involved in that too.
The bite Lalli had given is very significant from his point of view, though he will have to explain why to Kon later. The fact that it's returned so easily just confirms Lalli's assumptions of their state of being too. No words exchanged, and yet Lalli thinks they're dating now. It's something he just easily accepts as the way things are too: you bite someone, they bite you back, and that's that.
Someone at some point should probably explain to him that's not how things work, but that will have to be later. Right now excitement is thrumming in Lalli's veins and he's actually interested to see what the unknown has to bring.]
Sure, go ahead.
[He has no idea what Kon is about to do, but Lalli trusts him fully and isn't worried at all. They don't even need emotionshare for that to get across, though it probably does help. The content look on Lalli's face and his relaxed posture speak to how comfortable he is around Kon.]
[ i rolled a die to see if he was going to kiss his forehead or just outright kiss him and the dice said smooch so here i am to deliver to the kiss counter while no one's looking and talking about CRAU2 and booty shorts
reminders of better things are - nice. needed, in times like this. he's going to be furious and grieving over adora and catra both for a while yet, over the fact wang lu - who had become his friend quickly in such a short period of time - died for some stupid reason. that otome and byleth and rupert were all clearly suffering for this cause they were made to believe, that they would be truly saving the people here by killing them.
but he has winter dorm to take care of, and his friends in the other dorms. he has lalli, here, much steadier than he was when they were still in the gym, which is a relief. (he'll probably find himself simultaneously bemused and amused, and reflecting over later, the fact that he has lalli is a state of being that crept up. there's a joke about cats to be made here.)
but he does like him a lot, so why not reciprocate the gesture? why not have some small measure of good in a sea of shit? it doesn't have to be complicated - everything else already is.
so kon leans in, and kisses him, something simple and short so as not to spook him, but warm nonetheless. ]
Edited (dice is plural snow it's a die (haha die mg joke)) Date: 2021-07-11 04:32 am (UTC)
[It's alright, grief is a natural part of life. Or at least that is what Lalli has come to understand. As crushing as it can be at times, it ebbs and flows like the waters in a river. And like a river, it will eventually even out and leave someone with a sort of quiet peace.
It does help to have someone else to ride the waves through with, though. And for once, Lalli wouldn't mind being the one supporting someone else. While all the deaths today hit hard, Lalli knows they hit Kon particularly hard. He can feel it, even now.
Lalli isn't spooked by the kiss, because he can see it coming and honestly does not mind it at all right now. In fact, he readily accepts it, pressing his lips back against Kon's as his hands slide up to cradle the back of Kon's head.
This is fine, Lalli feels the warmth all the way down to his toes, and it is totally fine. Definitely better than his first kiss was.]
[ at least now, with the quick trip from needing to make sure lalli was okay, to the right poker stirring kindling into a dying fire, to - well, almost backing that determination with a kiss - kon's going to be fine. knowing that people have his back... he'll stay steady.
life's fucking short, beau told him. every week is a reminder. no matter how hard he fights things here, no matter how many promises he makes, life is fucking short, and he could find himself standing in the silence of the campus past curfew.
so, fuck it. his hands frame lalli's jaw on either side when it's returned, and he kisses him softly, some of that vitriol and pain smoothed down from their sharp edges. ]
[The worries of the week- of even the execution tomorrow- feel distant at the moment. Any reminders of just how bad things can go are forced out of Lalli's mind by how softly those lips press against his own. Right now all he can think about is Kon: how his arms feel under his hands, how his body feels when they're this close to each other, how his emotions mix with Lalli's until it's difficult to tell who felt what originally. Contentment in the moment, and a curiosity to see what happens next.
He has to pull back to breathe before too long, and as he takes in a few quick breaths he opens his eyes to glance up at Kon. When had he closed them? It's a wonder, how easily he can be lost in the moment like that.
Lalli doesn't say anything, but the breathless smile on his face probably says enough.]
[ compared to the gym, this is an oasis. this private moment before they have to return to the terrible reality that awaits them on wiwaldi campus. but with lalli holding onto him, the soft press of lips, it's -
better. kon is more grounded now that he's had a moment where grief and anger aren't at the forefront. so it's easier to take a deep breath when they pull back. though...
oh. emotionshare week gives away the weird flipflop that smile causes when he opens his eyes - hm, bad? no, not bad; unexpected - and it makes kon smile a little more, too. ]
Well, now I've got to get things figured out for real, make sure I get to see more smiles like that. [ it's not that he thinks lalli doesn't smile, or feel emotions, because he's seen it and he's felt it. it's more that he'll indulge that stupid alpha hindbrain thought of being selfish and wanting more of it. ]
[This churning of positive emotions and pleased nervousness is a much better emotion feedback loop to get into. Far, far better than the panic from earlier in the evening. And it helps, because Lalli's smile does dip into a more neutral look, mostly because he was called out on smiling and he is contrary like that. But his emotions give him away, because the happiness thrumming in his veins hasn't gone away. It makes him seem more like a pleased cat than anything else.]
Well, you know kisses get smiles.
[But only in relative private, like this. Lalli would die if he was kissed in front of everyone.]
[ stop, his contrary cat behavior makes him even more warm. adorable. (a moment passes in the back of his brain that reminds him of winter bonding activities, and something he said, and he has to contemplate that for a following beat before deciding yeah that checks out, huh.) ]
I see. [ that gets filed away, and kon brings his hands up to lalli's face. rubs his thumbs a little where he'd seen tears, in the gym, before ducking forward again and kissing his forehead between his very neutral (ok lalli) eyebrows. ] Okay, I'll remember that.
[ and he doesn't need to be told not in public to know that's a boundary in place, knowing how lalli is. ]
But, luckily, I'm pretty good at figuring things out.
[His heart flutters at that gentle kiss. Lalli has always been iffy about what kinds of touches he finds acceptable and what kinds of touches he avoids, but he's quickly finding that kisses are going into the "definitely okay" category. Especially Kon kisses, and especially where nobody is there spying on them. He is still Finnish after all, can't have public displays of affection! Luckily Kon seems to get that, and that will avoid future conflicts.]
Mmm, you are.
[He reaches up towards Kon's forehead, using his fingertips to gently sweep Kon's bangs out of his face. He's trying to tuck them to the side behind his ear, but if they're not long enough for that then just 'swooped to the side' is enough. He wants to look at Kon's face more clearly.]
I like that about you. You don't have to be told obvious things.
[Kon really did win Lalli over by figuring out his touch issues and asking about boundaries, after all.]
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2021-07-11 02:38 am (UTC)It's a lot, all at once. But it's enough to drag him right out of that spiral before he even has the chance to give up.]
...alright.
[He reaches up with his hands, placing them gently on Kon's forearms.]
I'll stay with you.
[His heart wouldn't let him even consider any other possibility.]
no subject
Date: 2021-07-11 02:55 am (UTC)the idea of losing anyone else is terrifying. but -
so that's it. we're all going to die here.
lalli lives in a world where death is a byproduct. it simply - is. how fucking unfair, what miserable unkindness, to put him through something where he's not even allowed to believe in survival. where they all have to watch people they've grown to know and care about die, for stupid, pointless reasons, all by their own hands. ]
Alright. [ some - relief settles in, and a little tension leaves his shoulders. he's still angry, and in pain, but.
he taps their foreheads together. ] Alright. I'm going to figure this out, okay Lal? I'm going to help get us out of here.
no subject
Date: 2021-07-11 03:14 am (UTC)[Does he believe that Kon can do it? He's not so sure. Hope is something he's never really allowed himself to have in large quantities before. With how quickly everything good in his life always gets ripped away, hope is a dangerous thing to have. It leaves him vulnerable and exposed, waiting for someone to step all over it.
But he does believe Kon will try. That even through the anger and pain he feels now, he'll find some strength to carry on and try. He might fail, and it would totally be in line with all of Lalli's previous experiences for Kon to try and fail. But even if they do fail here and they all die, following this man all the way to the end wouldn't be so bad.
If it's his last days, then he would like to make them count.
That's what Grandma did. That's what Tuuri did. That's what Onni has been trying to do. Lalli might as well follow in the footsteps of his family in that regard.]
I believe you.
[It's so warm like this too. It's hard not to feel content in this moment.
And unfortunately I, Maple, have to make Lalli ruin the moment. Because Manwol told him that you show affection by biting people, so that's what he's going to do. He's going to wholeass shift where his hand is on Kon's arm so he can bite right below Kon's wrist. Not hard enough to draw blood or leave a mark, but there you go.]
no subject
Date: 2021-07-11 04:02 am (UTC)funny how living with a dorm of protagonists and stubborn, social assholes will change you.
funny how you come to care for so many people over the course of a few traumatic weeks and experiences.
funny how lalli's attempts to be a good person and friend really managed to crack through a few defenses.
the bite does surprise him a little? it obviously doesn't hurt so it's more just a simple surprise that lalli is doing something weird. but, also, like - lalli is doing something that is very fundamentally lalli-coded, so he doesn't even think that it's that out of place or that weird. he really should question the fact that he's immediately accepting this frankly cryptid feline behavior, but he sort of gets the intent of it. (he did bite lalli in the same place, back in the second week of fall.)
fondness bleeds out from underneath that angry grieving and staunch determination, and he rotates his wrist to take lalli's hand, pulling his sleeve down to return the bite. because sure, why not. ]
... hey, Lal, can I do something? Kinda like that but different.
no subject
Date: 2021-07-11 04:13 am (UTC)The bite Lalli had given is very significant from his point of view, though he will have to explain why to Kon later. The fact that it's returned so easily just confirms Lalli's assumptions of their state of being too. No words exchanged, and yet Lalli thinks they're dating now. It's something he just easily accepts as the way things are too: you bite someone, they bite you back, and that's that.
Someone at some point should probably explain to him that's not how things work, but that will have to be later. Right now excitement is thrumming in Lalli's veins and he's actually interested to see what the unknown has to bring.]
Sure, go ahead.
[He has no idea what Kon is about to do, but Lalli trusts him fully and isn't worried at all. They don't even need emotionshare for that to get across, though it probably does help. The content look on Lalli's face and his relaxed posture speak to how comfortable he is around Kon.]
no subject
Date: 2021-07-11 04:31 am (UTC)reminders of better things are - nice. needed, in times like this. he's going to be furious and grieving over adora and catra both for a while yet, over the fact wang lu - who had become his friend quickly in such a short period of time - died for some stupid reason. that otome and byleth and rupert were all clearly suffering for this cause they were made to believe, that they would be truly saving the people here by killing them.
but he has winter dorm to take care of, and his friends in the other dorms. he has lalli, here, much steadier than he was when they were still in the gym, which is a relief. (he'll probably find himself simultaneously bemused and amused, and reflecting over later, the fact that he has lalli is a state of being that crept up. there's a joke about cats to be made here.)
but he does like him a lot, so why not reciprocate the gesture? why not have some small measure of good in a sea of shit? it doesn't have to be complicated - everything else already is.
so kon leans in, and kisses him, something simple and short so as not to spook him, but warm nonetheless. ]
no subject
Date: 2021-07-11 04:47 am (UTC)It does help to have someone else to ride the waves through with, though. And for once, Lalli wouldn't mind being the one supporting someone else. While all the deaths today hit hard, Lalli knows they hit Kon particularly hard. He can feel it, even now.
Lalli isn't spooked by the kiss, because he can see it coming and honestly does not mind it at all right now. In fact, he readily accepts it, pressing his lips back against Kon's as his hands slide up to cradle the back of Kon's head.
This is fine, Lalli feels the warmth all the way down to his toes, and it is totally fine. Definitely better than his first kiss was.]
no subject
Date: 2021-07-11 07:14 am (UTC)life's fucking short, beau told him. every week is a reminder. no matter how hard he fights things here, no matter how many promises he makes, life is fucking short, and he could find himself standing in the silence of the campus past curfew.
so, fuck it. his hands frame lalli's jaw on either side when it's returned, and he kisses him softly, some of that vitriol and pain smoothed down from their sharp edges. ]
no subject
Date: 2021-07-11 04:47 pm (UTC)He has to pull back to breathe before too long, and as he takes in a few quick breaths he opens his eyes to glance up at Kon. When had he closed them? It's a wonder, how easily he can be lost in the moment like that.
Lalli doesn't say anything, but the breathless smile on his face probably says enough.]
no subject
Date: 2021-07-12 10:45 pm (UTC)better. kon is more grounded now that he's had a moment where grief and anger aren't at the forefront. so it's easier to take a deep breath when they pull back. though...
oh. emotionshare week gives away the weird flipflop that smile causes when he opens his eyes - hm, bad? no, not bad; unexpected - and it makes kon smile a little more, too. ]
Well, now I've got to get things figured out for real, make sure I get to see more smiles like that. [ it's not that he thinks lalli doesn't smile, or feel emotions, because he's seen it and he's felt it. it's more that he'll indulge that stupid alpha hindbrain thought of being selfish and wanting more of it. ]
no subject
Date: 2021-07-13 03:06 am (UTC)Well, you know kisses get smiles.
[But only in relative private, like this. Lalli would die if he was kissed in front of everyone.]
I'm sure you can figure out other things too.
no subject
Date: 2021-07-13 05:12 am (UTC)I see. [ that gets filed away, and kon brings his hands up to lalli's face. rubs his thumbs a little where he'd seen tears, in the gym, before ducking forward again and kissing his forehead between his very neutral (ok lalli) eyebrows. ] Okay, I'll remember that.
[ and he doesn't need to be told not in public to know that's a boundary in place, knowing how lalli is. ]
But, luckily, I'm pretty good at figuring things out.
no subject
Date: 2021-07-13 12:10 pm (UTC)Mmm, you are.
[He reaches up towards Kon's forehead, using his fingertips to gently sweep Kon's bangs out of his face. He's trying to tuck them to the side behind his ear, but if they're not long enough for that then just 'swooped to the side' is enough. He wants to look at Kon's face more clearly.]
I like that about you. You don't have to be told obvious things.
[Kon really did win Lalli over by figuring out his touch issues and asking about boundaries, after all.]