In my life, I messed up when it came to how I grieved. My father died, and I...lost myself. [A shake of the head.] Unlike that time, there's no battles to lose myself in. And I...want to grieve properly. I'm afraid I'll go insane if I don't.
Our last moments define the legacy we leave behind for those who come after us. I don't know about you I'm not going to have my legacy end up being "he was a coward who accepted his death without accomplishing anything of note". If I have to die, I'm going to make it count.
[Oh, that's a deadpan laugh from Mandricardo - his eyes are dark.]
I died in a valiant duel against a man who I thought I could easily defeat. I was mighty, and ferocious, and fought with all my skills.
[...]
And then I died even after all of that, even after using all my strength, and it didn't mean a thing. My legacy was nothing. It's nothing. So "our last moments define the legacy we leave behind...?" What is that crap?
You say that, but I never knew you as a human. I only know you as you are now. And all I'm going to remember- assuming I outlive you- is what you've done here.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2021-07-12 04:19 am (UTC)I've never felt like anyone ever saw me as...special, in that way.
no subject
Date: 2021-07-12 04:34 am (UTC)[Implying that nobody else does. Or maybe not, Lalli isn't THAT mean.]
And if he saw something special, then there's something special there.
no subject
Date: 2021-07-12 04:42 am (UTC)I think everyone...deserves to have someone think they're special, honestly.
[Best feeling in the world! If that person ISN'T DEAD.]
no subject
Date: 2021-07-12 04:46 am (UTC)[Like if Mandi is missing Wang Lu and needs support that's one thing, but Lalli is suspicious of Mandi's motives here.
Partially because of Things and him hoping that he's not being obvious, he's very self-conscious about it.]
no subject
Date: 2021-07-12 04:49 am (UTC)[he is]
[genuinely confused]
[he has literally no ic idea about lalli and kon i am crying]
I-I'm sorry. I'm just...thinking about him. I shouldn't have brought it up.
no subject
Date: 2021-07-12 04:51 am (UTC)No, it's fine. You miss him, right? So you should talk about him. People don't really 'die' until the living stop talking about them anyway.
no subject
Date: 2021-07-12 04:55 am (UTC)[There's a long pause.]
In my life, I messed up when it came to how I grieved. My father died, and I...lost myself. [A shake of the head.] Unlike that time, there's no battles to lose myself in. And I...want to grieve properly. I'm afraid I'll go insane if I don't.
no subject
Date: 2021-07-12 05:00 am (UTC)[Lalli no that's not healthy at all.
Though the way he's speaking with such authority on the subject of "loved ones dying" might be concerning.]
no subject
Date: 2021-07-12 05:01 am (UTC)I actually...think that might be worse, Lalli. It may seem like its easier, I think, but...it hurts worse when you dig it up.
no subject
Date: 2021-07-12 05:07 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-07-12 05:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-07-12 05:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-07-12 05:18 am (UTC)I just expect him to pop up with that dumb look on his face like. Pretending he's not dead. Even though I know he is.
no subject
Date: 2021-07-12 05:23 am (UTC)[The one thing saving Lalli from a complete mental breakdown here: the fact that the dead might not actually be fully dead.]
no subject
Date: 2021-07-12 05:37 am (UTC)And what if we mess up and that doesn't happen?
no subject
Date: 2021-07-12 05:51 am (UTC)[It's hard not to regard death so lightly when you're from a death world.]
We all die. What's important is making your death matter.
no subject
Date: 2021-07-13 02:12 pm (UTC)In a place like this, does our death even matter, Lalli?
no subject
Date: 2021-07-13 11:11 pm (UTC)[He says that immediately, and firmly.]
Our last moments define the legacy we leave behind for those who come after us. I don't know about you I'm not going to have my legacy end up being "he was a coward who accepted his death without accomplishing anything of note". If I have to die, I'm going to make it count.
no subject
Date: 2021-07-13 11:15 pm (UTC)[Oh, that's a deadpan laugh from Mandricardo - his eyes are dark.]
I died in a valiant duel against a man who I thought I could easily defeat. I was mighty, and ferocious, and fought with all my skills.
[...]
And then I died even after all of that, even after using all my strength, and it didn't mean a thing. My legacy was nothing. It's nothing. So "our last moments define the legacy we leave behind...?" What is that crap?
no subject
Date: 2021-07-13 11:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-07-13 11:19 pm (UTC)I'm just nothing but a magical copy that's fated to disappear soon, anyways.
no subject
Date: 2021-07-13 11:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-07-13 11:48 pm (UTC)[Yeah, maybe there's a point, there.]
I'm just...tired of believing I'm disappointing people.
no subject
Date: 2021-07-13 11:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-07-14 12:00 am (UTC)[...................]
[.......................................]
N...o?
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From: